February 2012
a couple of weeks ago, I accidently grabbed my teachers butt (he is really hot too)
Way back when in 8th grade, I went to food lion with alyssa and she runs to the peanut butter aisle and says “peanut butter, it sticks to my nipples” and I laughed so hard, I fell and started rolling around.
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one time, I was at the mall with alyssa and she was on the phone and these two black dudes come up behind her and scream DAMN THAT IS TOO MUCH ASS.
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one time when I was 14, I was hanging out with my friend and this really hot guy (that was 19) and he asked us to go into the back room and he just pulls out his penis and he said nothing but I left because it was so big and I couldn’t stop laughing
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andrew garfield looks like a cat but I’m still sexually attracted to him
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who wants to go on a romantic date with me I’m perfect at romance
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farisbueller:
remember when i asked dominos to put julian casablancas on the pizza box
and they did
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one time when I was 11, I was in a chat room for kids but I didn’t know there were going to be pedophiles but there was one, he was like “what are you wearing” and I responded “a tye dye shirt” then he said “oh” then disconnected.
idliketobuyallyourchocolate:
oh my god im so annoying who let me on the internet
kittenqueefs:
wow this lesbian looks sad with her life someone give her a hug???
help
I can’t imagine myself high, I’d probably be normal.
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I saw a tiny kid today who is a freshman at my school and walked up to him and said “Wow are you a part of the naked brothers band? What happened to your only black friend?” Then I walked away and started crying.
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for some reason my phone says fetching instead of loading so it’s like “fetching your page” “error fetching your post” what
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oh ye I was supposed to keep asking people out until someone said yes
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this guy thought I’d want to date him because he called the strokes “good music”
wentzporta:
cost: $5
shipping: $1,000,000
your-ego-is-showing:
stop unfollowing me IM TRYI G
vive5siemprelg:
plot twist i start losing weight
my dad likes to ask me what time it is because I’m dyslexic and I can never say the time right “19….oh..4??” it was 914…
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ok ye dear good looking guys wanna go out ye
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I’m going to ask out every good looking guy until someone says yes
I’M SHAKING FROM LAUGHING BECAUSE I DIDN’T SEE FARIS AT FIRST BUT WHEN I DID I SCREAMED AND THREW MY PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM
dujardins:
e-pic:
plot twist: suddenly oprah shows up and has an oscar for everyone under their chairs
#except leonardo dicaprio
virginclub:
rumour:
what happened to the naked brothers band
they put clothes on
………I….
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all that matters is faris badwan
faris…..badwan….I…..
1612th:
throwing paint on grass and actually watching paint dry and grass grow at the same time would still be more interesting than going to school tomorrow